That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
