My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I believe in your delicious
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