If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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