ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
