I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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