so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
