So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
