Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
