I think I am morally bankrupt
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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