I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He felt like a one man threesome
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
