i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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