At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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