wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
