dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
