There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
