Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Randomize
