They should really pass out barf bags in church
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
