You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
