forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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