New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
