he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
