There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
