His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
