i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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