did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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