I must be too annoying 4 u.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
