I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
