I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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