Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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