8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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