my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
