Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I want to make a zoo with you.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
