It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
