Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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