we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
smell my finger.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
