I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
