We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
