i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
