Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
