Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
