So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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