its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
