I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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