I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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