yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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