Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
