k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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