and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
