Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Randomize
