just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
