Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
