So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
