By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
