just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
